My first tattoo — oh, what shall it be?
A squiggly beast from under the sea?
Or maybe a clown or my precious dog’s mug
Certainly, nothing resembling a bug

When I retire, I’ve committed to 
An object immortalized in a tattoo
The problem is that I can’t decide
What object to ink just under my hide

And where would I put it, I shudder to think
A calf or a shoulder all covered in ink
I don’t want to display it every day of the week
So it can’t be immortalized high on my cheek

My friends would say “That doesn’t suit you”
But I’d tell them “Shut up!” I will do as I do
Too much of my life has been tempered and tame
Now I’m breakin’ it loose with no regret or shame

I worked hard all my life in modest employ
Like my loyal dog Rusty, I was a good boy
But retirement, damn, I’ll be raising hell
You’ll hear all about it when I jump from my shell

It will represent something much bigger than me
A beacon that broadcasts irrevocably
A transformative mark shouting “I am the man!”
And “Don’t mess with me brother, or Alakazam!”

So, I’ll pick something sinister, evil, and best,
I will wear it emblazoned all over my chest
On my last day at work, I’ll unveil my tat
They’ll all wish they could be as badass as that

Now the artist commands me to make up my mind
She’s has customers waiting and isn’t too kind
Under pressure my life flashes by in a buzz
And I see that I’m happier just as I was

So, I think I will go with the squiggly beast
My rebellious desires abruptly released
He’ll be modest and green as a sea beast should be
Frolicking happily over my knee

Will it hurt?