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Let’s face it. There are times when you run out of ideas for things to do and you end up sitting and staring at your stupid phone. Life is short and deserves to be lived. Every hour of phone surfing leads to more cricks in your neck, callouses on your thumbs, and regret.

Instead, scan through the list below and Google the ones that tickle your fancy. Whichever ones you choose, you’ll find that you’re happier and healthier when you’re active.

1. Learn to play an instrument. Pianos are expensive, and violins, accordions, and harps are the toughest to learn. Drums are hard, loud, and unpopular with the neighbors. Try a harmonica, guitar, or flute — they’re the easiest.

2. Go bowling with some friends. If you get 3 strikes in a row they call that a turkey, which is a peculiar term that came from a tournament long ago that awarded a free turkey to anyone who managed to pull off that unusual feat.

3. Try smoking marijuana. If you’re looking for the best deal, you’ll find the lowest prices in Seattle. That’s where you get the best bong for your buck.

4. Read a book. There are plenty to choose from. If you can read two million books a year you can finish them all in just 75 years. Then again, they’ll probably write more before you’re done.

5. When you get tired of reading, you can write a book of your own. With 150 million books out there already, you’d think they’d have already used up all the good plots. But you’d be wrong.

6. Build model cars and airplanes. They don’t cost much and come in all skill levels. Just remember to stay away from the glue fumes or your 1934 Duesenberg will literally blow your mind.

7. Google “Hobbies” and choose the 7th one you see. Seven is a lucky number because there are 7 days in a week, 7 continents, it’s the only prime number preceding a cube, and the exact number of fingers my high school shop teacher had.

8. Volunteer at a sporting event like the Super Bowl or an NCAA event. Local marathon races need plenty of help. Even your local high school or college could use your help.

9. Plant an apple tree and a garden. Did you know that eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day give you a 13% lower risk of death? Eat 50 servings a day and you’ll become a vegetable.

10. Assemble a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle on your kitchen table and eat dinner on TV trays for a month. The fastest puzzler solver is Deepika Ravichandran who solved a 250-piece puzzle in 13 minutes and 14 seconds. That’s one piece every 3 seconds.

11. Binge a bunch of Hitchcock movies. He directed over 50 international films, many of which are considered among the best films ever. He worked with top actors such as James Stewart, Grace Kelley, Ingrid Bergman, and Cary Grant.

12. Shut down your phones and play some board games. While 97% of the US population has some sort of cell phone, scientists have found that they’re not essential to life (unless you’re a teenager), and with a little training from YouTube videos one can easily learn how to turn them off.

13. Go on a cruise. Pandemic prices are fantastic but be sure to bring a mask and lots of alcohol wipes. If you paid for the all-inclusive option, you might want to bring an extra liver too.

14. Go to the airport on a whim and buy a flight to some random place you’ve never been to. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays are the cheapest days to fly.

15. Have sex. I read an article quoting another article that referenced a study from the ’90s that said a high frequency of orgasms correlated with a reduction in mortality. That’s all I need. Science has spoken, and I am duty-bound.

16. Go to the beach. There’s always a warm beach somewhere. Mexico has 500 beaches on 4 different bodies of water. Try them all and let me know which is your favorite.

17. Rent an RV and drive to Cawker City, Kansas to see the largest ball of twine. RV rental costs can be a couple hundred dollars a day plus 35 to 50 cents a mile. But the chance to see a ball of twine over 40 feet in circumference, made from over seven million feet of string, is priceless.

18. Get a job as an Uber and/or Lyft driver. You can pick your own hours and earn $15 to $20 an hour while polishing your small talk skills.

19. Raft down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon for an adventure of a lifetime. You can spend as much as two weeks completely removed from society (read: no cell phone coverage) while flip-flopping between blissful floating and terrifying rapids. You can also spend $4,000 or more.

20. Make a budget. Put all your expenses for the last three months in buckets and estimate your average living expense by category.

21. Go shopping. Have you ever been to a Nebraska Furniture Mart? They’re like a small country, but better equipped with massage chairs and 80-inch TVs. Malls are a blast too, where you can log your daily steps and get a makeover at the same time.

22. Sign up for Yoga classes. The practice of yoga is good for any age, and improves strength, balance, and flexibility. Write to your congressional representatives and urge them to take some yoga classes so they can improve their flexibility too. Lord knows they need it.

23. Order a pizza delivery to a friend’s house as a surprise and then just randomly show up and see if they share.

24. Go to a museum. You can get lost in historical wonder and amazement for hours and then bore your kids with interesting facts about Mongolian battle armor and poisonous arachnids (BTW, the Black Widow is #2).

25. View some TED talks. Learn from thousands of speakers on topics like aging, happiness, exercise, healthcare, and string theory.

26. Make your own beer. It’s easy to do and good for your state of mind. It lowers your risk of diabetes, reduces inflammation, and boosts your brain power (that last one doesn’t seem right, but science says). And if you screw it up and it tastes like crap, beer is reportedly good for revitalizing your hair.

27. Expose yourself to nature. Any type of movement is healthy for you, but there’s nothing better than a trip to the mountains for a vigorous hike in the midst of nature’s beauty. Remember to bring water, stay on the trail, and pack out what you packed in.

28. Get a job as an online dating ghostwriter. Believe it or not, desperate people will pay you to write dating profiles that make them appear witty and intriguing.

29. Walking is one of the best overall physical workouts you can do. Hiking in the forest is a favorite of mine but moving around is all you need to do. A brisk walk for 30 minutes a few times a week is just what the doctor ordered.

30. If you like walking and love animals, get a job as a dog walker. The pay is as much as $20 an hour, and you get so much love it should be illegal.

31. Swimming is a good workout too. Consider combining a vacation with a workout and go to The waterpark capital of the world, the Wisconsin Dells, where they have more than 20 water parks to choose from.

32. Open or buy a small business such as a bakery, deli, or coffee hut. Some businesses are easy to start up and don’t cost too much. A steady stream of income will serve you well right now and long into your retirement years.

33. Purge all that crap out of your place and hold a garage sale to turn that trash into cash.

34. Sign up to be a mentor or tutor for someone who could benefit from your life experiences. The future of our planet rests squarely on the shoulders of our children and anything you can do to help them will be a gift to the world.

35. Learn a new language and then travel to that country and practice. Be sure to pick a language that has a country (not Latin). There are about 6,500 spoken languages in the world, and 195 countries. That’s 33 languages per country which makes no sense at all.

36. Sit still for 15 minutes a day and learn to meditate. When you can turn off the noise in your mind, you are relaxed and at peace with yourself and everything around you. How many agitated Tibetan Monks have you seen lately? See? That proves it.

37. Consulting with small business owners is a way to give back to an industry that was good to you. Many retirees find that they feel pride in the act of helping others. Whatever your age and profession, remember that there’s something you do that you’re better at than everyone else. Share that.

38. Crossword puzzles are incredibly frustrating but a great way to stimulate your [five letters starting with ‘br’ and ending in ‘n’]

39. Go talk to a financial advisor. They have great knowledge, experience, and advice. Then, go manage your own money by investing in equity and bond ETFs. Warren Buffet, one of the best money managers ever, says you should invest in ETFs. He’s smart — always pay attention to smart people.

40. Set an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in writing wills. Then make some notes about how you want your belongings distributed when the time comes.

41. Hop in the car and go visit a nearby town you’ve never been to. Sometimes towns have themes and you can learn something. Many of them have antique shops that are fun to browse. Stop for coffee or a meal and chat with the locals.

42. Plant a small garden and grow herbs that you can use fresh in your cooking.

43. Compete in the Senior Olympic Games if you’re age 50 or older. There are 19 different sporting competitions, ranging from badminton to rock climbing. You’ll find one that’s perfect for you. The top four performers from each sport in all 50 states go to Nationals. Hurry, this is your last chance to be a famous sports star.

44. Flip open a dictionary at random and jot down a few new words. Make it a quotidian pastime.

45. Browse Zillow.com and find cool homes for downsizing in retirement. You can research costs in new areas too, so you can find your Goldilocks place that’s just right.

46. Ride a bike around town. Stop for a cool drink or chilled coffee and enjoy the day. Biking is good for all ages and these days you can get electric-assist bicycles that will boost you up those nasty hills. They’ll cost you anywhere from $1,000 to $10,000, so get the cheap coffee.

47. Call some friends and set up a weekly meet at a local bar, coffee shop, or restaurant. I heard of a game where you stack all your phones in the center of the table and the first person who picks up their phone has to pay the bill.

48. Lift weights. Any weight is good for you as long as you lift. Stretch too, that’s also good. While you’re at it, why not take a walk. Doing all three at the same time makes you look like a lame goose, which keeps the neighbors away. Sometimes that’s good for you too.

49. Sign up for a community college course in technology so you don’t get left behind. As we age and no longer need to use technology in our jobs, the world passes us by. It can be lonely without the belongingness you can get from social platforms.

50. At that same community college, you can also learn about trees, finance, bugs, physics, health, meditation, art, and more.

51. You might also check out some MOOCs, Massive Open Online Courses. These are online schools, many of which are free. They offer courses much like traditional universities, trade schools, and community colleges. If not, you can just repeat “MOOC” over and over — it’s a hoot.

52. Talk to your partner. Listen to your partner. Read them some of these ideas, especially #15.

53. Get a parrot (a stuffed one is okay) and dress up as a swashbuckling pirate. People in Seattle do that at the Seafair Festival, but they’re not the only ones who can. Toucan play at that game.

54. Learn about investing. Face it, you really need to be financially aware.

55. Update your home with new furnishings, paint, and knick-knacks. You can browzz Houzz.com for ideas.

56. Go to an Irish pub and play darts. Or just watch people play darts. Talk to them. If they’re from Ireland they have an awesome accent.

57. Think about what you used to be really good at when you were young. Do that again, you’ll probably still be good at it. Juggling was one of my things, and I have a friend who was a talented lawn bowler. Yours are probably different.

58. Go through all those pictures you have in your drawers, albums, and boxes. Organize them, toss the duplicates and for all the ones with people, be sure to write down who they are. People will sincerely appreciate that after you’re dead.

59. Charter a plane. I found a place that offered a steak dinner and a sunset flight over the city. It was a romantic date my wife and I will talk about forever.

60. Head to the beach for the day. Bring a few garbage bags and pick up litter. If people compliment you, hand them a bag and smile.

61. If you take a wine tasting class, you can learn to enjoy and appreciate the subtle nuances of flavor and quality of different varietals. You’ll also learn to hate cheap wine and your monthly expenses will go up. Think carefully on this one.

62. I used to golf but was never good at it. It frustrated the dickens out of me, and I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be frustrated for four hours straight. Maybe for the beer. But anyway, it is something to do so I put it on this list. It’s yours now.

63. Try your hand at painting or another art. Pottery, drawing, flower arrangement, calligraphy, origami. The sky’s the limit when it comes to art. People are spray painting brick walls and calling it art. Surely you can do better than that.

64. Tai Chi is a popular martial arts practice for people of advanced age. Not to be confused with Chai tea, although that’s pretty tasty.

65. Go fly a kite on a breezy day for a free ride to a wonderful time when you were a kid. The memories will far exceed the cost of the kite. Watch out for the kite-eating tree that terrorized Charlie Brown.

66. Become an Airbnb host and make some money on the side. If you don’t own a property or don’t want strange people sleeping in your bed, you can be a greeter who welcomes guests to host homes, answers their questions, and acts as a local contact.

67. Foster pet sitting is something I learned about recently. You welcome cute and cuddly pets into your home and take care of them until a new owner is found. I imagine that new owner is often the foster pet sitter.

68. Charter a boat and go fishing in the ocean. Fresh fish are the best, and deep-sea ocean fishing is an adventure you’ll remember forever. Bring Dramamine in case of sea sickness because the ocean swells aren’t always so swell.

69. Go to a farm and buy fresh vegetables and be healthy while you support local business owners who work their asses off.

70. Step right up to a ride on a carnival. Many traveling shows stop at small towns across the country. If you see one, bring some cash and have some fun. Eat the fried pickle on a stick after the Whizzer ride, not before.

71. Watch YouTube videos on how to bake, sculpt, and frost a cake. These days you’ll find cakes that look like body parts, shoes, toilet paper, and furniture. It’s not cheap though, it could take a bite out of your purse. Literally.

72. Buy a 3D printer and make cool stuff. They’re available all over the place now and only cost a few hundred dollars for an entry-level device… Plus materials, computer, and software. Okay maybe not so cheap.

73. Snorkel the largest reef in the world — The Great Barrier Reef. Snorkeling is free, but the flight to Australia is expensive. While you’re there, check out the Sydney Opera House, a magnificent architectural marvel. I’d visit the building but skip the opera. 

74. Home sitting is a real thing and there are organizations all over the internet that arrange it. Sign up for a small fee and you can travel the world living in other people’s homes for free. Sometimes you need to take care of the dogs and cats, but they’re not supposed to leave the kids behind.

Had enough yet? Yeah, that was a long list. If you made all the way through, congratulations. But most of all I hope it gave you some ideas to avoid being bored. And if I missed any, let me know.

Cheers!

(Cheers? Oh yeah, drinking games — that’s #75)