Image credit: Nicolas Tissot on Unsplash
Along the way I discovered the secret to a happy life, and it’s not retirement (although it helps)
Throughout my interminable 90-day transition from work to retirement, I’ve spent a lot of time deep in thought. I’ve gone from elation to terror and everywhere in between. I’ve documented this pinball of emotions in a couple of stories and this final one takes me across the finish line to victory.
Along the way I’ve learned a lot. And believe it or not, I’m almost certain that I’ve discovered the secret to happiness. It’s a bold declaration I know, but when you hear it, I think you’ll agree.
Day 31 Wednesday
Today I’m two-thirds of the way to retirement. Mentally I’m half in and half out. Like I’m doing the hokey pokey.
Day 30 Thursday
Last night I met a guy who self-described as “sort-of retired.” He consults from time to time but says he just takes the gigs he wants and isn’t sure how much longer he’ll do that. He liked my definition of retirement:
The power to do whatever you want without the need to earn money – and the freedom to stop at any time.
“I must write software for a living” is a lot different than “I want to write software for a fun project.” Both may generate income, but the difference is the freedom to stop.
Today I got a stomachache from a coworker who can’t read an email. She replied to my first sentence with gibberish and ignored the rest of my message. It took three more tries to pry a coherent patchwork of answers out of her.
Freedom calls.
Day 26 Monday
I live in the Pacific time zone and work for a company in Central. That makes for a brutal start at 6:00 AM but frees me up in the middle of the afternoon. I usually head outside, but today I dedicated time to planning a trip.
In December I’ll be spending three glorious weeks in Zihuatanejo, Mexico. I visited that beautiful fishing village by the bay about 40 years ago and I’ve dreamed of returning for the last 39. This year I will.
The mere act of planning brought a flood of memories. Sleeping on the beach after an all-night bus ride, helping a tarantula safely cross the road (presumably to get to the other side), and eating shrimp cocktail with hot sauce and lime while the warm surf tickled my toes.
Day 25 Tuesday
Anticipation is the salt of life.
Yesterday was such a joy that I planned another trip today – this time to Wisconsin for my aunt’s 100th birthday. I can hardly contain my excitement to see her and all my cousins. They’ll tell embarrassing stories about our childhood, and we’ll all laugh at how stupid we looked in old photos. I’ll ask my aunt what her secret is. She’s amazing, and fortunate to be surrounded by such a large loving family.
Longevity is in my genes and foretells a long retirement for me. A 40-year retirement is much harder to plan for than a 10-year one – more money, more activities, more loneliness in the latter years. I think I have enough money to last, and enough family to be around me if I’m lucky enough to hit the century mark. I hope to be as blessed as Aunt Caroline.
Day 22 Friday
I spent much of the day drawing up network integration designs. Most sane people would avoid a task like this, but I find it stimulating. Work has been a great resource for exercising my mind and in The Future I’m not sure where I’ll get that. Reading, writing, and games don’t have the same depth of intensity and focus, so I’ll have to look around. If you have any ideas let me know.
I don’t want my brain to mock me: “Is that all you got, man?”
Day 20 Sunday
Last night I was at a small party and a friend of mine introduced me as a “writer” and not “some kind of IT technology guy.” It sent shivers up my spine and for a moment I stalled. I liked it, but it caught me off guard.
One day soon I’ll be another retired guy just like the CEO and the burger flipper. We’ll all dress the same, talk about our kids and hobbies, and just be regular people enjoying our lives and each other. How liberating to be identified by our character and passion, rather than a title.
Day 14 Saturday
We’ve decided to throw a retirement party and so I spent the day combing through my contacts and reaching out to old friends. Two cross-country career moves and one crippling pandemic have practically dissolved my social life. Now I have the chance to get all my best buddies back together again and I’m bursting at the seams.
I have friends that date back to when I was 4 years old. Some I haven’t seen in over a decade, and I’m dizzy with excitement to see them again.
So many things to look forward to. I have trips, and visits, and parties. This is going to be an awesome retirement.
Day 12 Monday
One more work-Monday after today. Here’s how I’ll fill my first Monday of freedom:
- I’ll sleep in (likely to be my first retirement failure)
- Meditate for 15 minutes
- Exercise
- Write for 2 hours and then read for an hour
- Call people and chit chat about life
- Work on a project in the garage
- Take a nap in the middle of the day?
- Go on a hike and sit by the lake for as long as I like
- Barbeque something on the grill and enjoy a glass of wine
Again, I have another spectacular moment to look forward to: the first workday where I don’t work.
Day 10 Wednesday
I had my first “goodbye” session in a meeting with three people who I respect greatly. They said nice things about me, and I’ll miss them. It was a somber moment, and I got a little choked up.
Afterwards I started to pen my final goodbye email but decided I wasn’t ready for that yet. That’s a last-week activity.
Day 5 Monday
I’m running out of things to do at work, but you wouldn’t know it from my calendar. I have end to end meetings all week because evidently they need my 9th inning advice before I’m gone. The old quip states “cemeteries are filled with irreplaceable people.” Well, I’m replaceable just like everyone else. They’ll figure it out.
Organizing and deleting files is a dangerous venture. Spelunking through the strata, I find artifacts of old projects and programs that once inspired passion. Now they lie quietly in a subfolder of a subfolder, yearning for another chance. But not from me – I’m cleansing.
Is this what my children will do with all my personal files when I’m gone? Stories like this summarily tossed into the ether? What a depressing thought. Let’s move on.
Hung out with a buddy who’s retired. He’s in his element right now: Summer. He looks forward to it every year – it’s what gets him through the winters.
Day 4 Tuesday
My neighbor passed away suddenly this morning. It was shocking and unexpected, and she was too young to die. She was a true warm-hearted gem of a friend.
Life is fickle. Retiring early is the right choice for me.
Day 2 Thursday
5:00 PM. My in-box is empty. Files are purged. The traditional goodbye message is written and sent. It’s unbelievable how many people I’ve come to know in the seven years I worked here.
Day 1: The Finish Line
My dad taught me to “always leave things in better shape than when you got there.” I did.
I shut down my work computer for the last time and a feeling of freedom crashed over me like a tsunami. I bounced around the house like Tigger, grinning and preening. I drank a beer to calm me down, but it didn’t. The feeling stuck with me through the evening. Perhaps to remain forever?
Tomorrow I’ll be guided by my own dreams and desires, not by the invisible hand of commerce. I will introduce myself as a writer and spend my time doing everything my budget allows.
What lies over the horizon in The Future is uncertain, but I’m confident that I’ll wear it like a comfortable slipper.
The Secret to Happiness
Sorry I made you wait until the end of the story for this. I promised you it would be worth it and it is.
The secret to happiness is anticipation.
A “moment” is a measurement from medieval times and represents a duration of about 90 seconds. A minute and a half of an exciting moment is great, but the anticipation of that moment is energizing, motivating, and enduring.
Endless adventures, family gatherings, shows, boat rides, discoveries, parties, and quiet mornings are on my agenda, and I’ll revel in the anticipation of each.
Congrats on starting that next phase!
All the best!
Ronnie
Brian – I always enjoy your colorful writing, I feel like I am right there in step. All I can say is…..ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY. Which I have no doubt you will my friend. Look forward to reading and of course learning more. Take care!
Tonia
Hi Tonia! Thanks for the kind words. I’m enjoying it so far (less than a week in though). I’ll keep you posted 🙂
Congrats, Brian! You got a bead on this thing. You’ll do just great.
I agree with your assessment of what brings happiness, but may I add one thing? You gotta anticipate the good stuff looking forward, and then you gotta be grateful for it looking back. And then, my friend, every thought will be a happy one.
Happy (seriously!) MONDAY!
Hi Jeri,
As always you have great insight. Yes I agree that being grateful is an important part. I’ll keep that in mind.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Congratulations Brian!! I’m envious but super happy for you and your adventures ahead!! Enjoy!
Hi Mathy. Thanks for the encouragement. I think it’s going to be great.
Dear Brian, welcome to the first day … will you be able to follow the outline you described on Day 12? I wonder? BECAUSE, you do not have to have a schedule! But, it is still efficient to have one if you want to get ANYTHING done–on your timeline!
Blessings on your retirement! Linda and George
Thanks Linda & George! I’ll know tomorrow whether I stick to the plan or not. I’ll try to do that for at least a short time so I establish a habit but as you point out it really wouldn’t matter even if I didn’t because no schedule is necessary. Maybe I’m just used to a work schedule and it feels comfortable to me. Thanks again.